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| Wednesday, July 25 2007 09:15 PM |
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Subject: Base Weblog |
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The Guy Rules |
Now here are the rules from the male side.
Ladies, Please pay attention and let's start actually applying these.
These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Men ARE not mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color! Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine...Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight... |
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| Author |
Comments |
RiccoSuave
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 Posted: Tue Aug 07, 2007 13:27 |
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A few rebutles:
1. Spock reads minds
2. Get a urinal
3. IS topless beach volleyball a sport?
4. Shopping IS a full contact sport during the holidays, especially the day after Thanksgiving.
5. Crying IS a weapon
6. stop looking at her boobs and listen with your ears
7. Answer with a question, "wanna fuck" is a good distraction
8. when a guy IS horney is a great time to ask for sympathy
9. Don't worry some guys are chubby chasers
10. Make a honey do list, maybe we'll get to it
11. Only talk when his unit is in your mouth
12. We DO need directions, grab him by the ears and hold his head between your legs
13. buy a fucking box of 64 count crayons and tell him to study the colors
14. If it itches, see a fucking doctor
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