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| Monday, August 04 2008 12:28 AM |
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Subject: Base Weblog |
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Box Blocking. The new Vagina stopper. |
So this weekend, I learned a new term: Box Blocking. Essentially, this is a term used for chicks that “cock block.” I learned the term from this girl, who will be known as Dickionary Mary from now on, that was in town this weekend while we were hanging out at a BBQ. It seems to be the new trend among chicks, second only to drinking Patron Silver at clubs and milking dudes they don’t like for bar tabs.
So during the BBQ, this girl Dickionary Mary starts a diatribe about Box Blocking while we were sitting around.
“You know, Box Blocking, when a chick blocks you from other chicks.”
I was blown away. This is fucking perfect terminology. Maybe it’s been around forever being thrown around circles of frustrated dudes. But I had never heard it. Not until that very moment. Not until Dickionary Mary threw it down over BBQ ribs and chicken. And it made sense in the most complete of ways.
Later that night, we go out to a bar / restaurant in Orange County. Immediately, I get depressed because that nasty realization comes into play that I live in Orange County, the epicenter of chick patheticness. If you’ve never been to Orange County, the dating scene for guys is something similar to the experience one has if you are to stick your hand in boiling water while watching Rosy O’Donnell eat a lasagna.
It’s wrenchingly painful.
These chicks fucking suck. I have been a lot of places, but these high-maintenance bitches take the cake. They all look as if they are made of the same material used to make NASA satellites and they appear to have been involved in an Avon shrapnel explosion in the Nordstroms makeup department.
Anyways, our whole gang, girls and guys, are out on the patio drinking beers and smoking some cigs. Suddenly, these asian chicks roll up to the table next to us; we establish communication. I immediately fall in love with one of them. By in love, I pretty much mean I was totally and completely aroused.
“Let me ask you a question baby, would you care if I cheated on you but made sure you never found out? I mean, would you consider that polite?”
I ask of her.
“That is the sweetest thing any guy has said to me in forever. I would look upon it as considerate of my feelings.”
She replies with a smile.
Immediately I knew this broad was for me. And I knew that I was in love, or however I defined it before. Maybe I wasn’t really in love, to be honest, in Orange County, I tend to get really excited when chicks respond to me and her forehead and high cheekbones show signs of mobility.
To continue reading, click through to the blog.
http://surfelport.com/?p=30
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